Results tagged ‘ Papelbon is gay ’
Lose 1st, Win 2, Lost Last
After that upsetting loss in Game 1, I knew it would be difficult for my Yanks to pull off a series win. They were close..so close…but they, and I, will have to settle for a split.
Game 2 was a nice bounce-back win for the Yankees. CC Sabathia gave it his all and proved once again why I call him “C Cy.” My Hefty-Lefty allowed just 2 runs in 8 innings. The offense was clutch, with the 4 consecutive 2-out singles in the 5th inning by Swisher, Teixeira, Cano, and Posada. The Yanks went on to win it 5-2.
CC should win the Cy Young if he keeps this up.
Game 3 was the Yankees typical offensive explosion off Josh Beckett. And unlike the last time Beckett pitched, he only hit 1 Yankee batter: Robinson Cano. Last time, he angered me…but let’s not go there again. The Yankee offense pushed across 7 runs off Beckett. Lance Berkman finally found his stroke, going 3-4 with a run and an RBI. It was nice to see him start to hit. He was one of many Yankees who had a nice day at the dish.
But perhaps the most pleasantly surprising aspect of Game 3 was the starter, spot starter, Mr. Dustin Moseley. He wooed me in his first start, but didn’t pitch too well in his second start as a Yankee. This time, he was called upon on short notice to make the start for the injured A.J. Burnett. And this time, he shined. Oh, how he shined! In the field he made 3 exceptional plays, and he pitched pretty well, too. Moseley pitched 6.1 innings, and allowed just 2 runs. What a night for this little cutie! The Yankees went on to win this one 7-2.
Moseley is a beeeeast ♥
That brings us to the finale. I was hoping that since the Yanks won 2 in a row, and since the offense wasn’t scuffling, that they would have a good day. And I hoped that Phil Hughes would be his Philthy old self. I was right about half of it, the pitching half. But as everyone knows, getting a 50 on a test isn’t going to cut it.
Hughes allowed 2 runs in the 2nd inning. Maybe Jorge Posada’s throwing error had something to do with it? Maybe. But that’s not why the Yankees lost. Like I said the other day, don’t blame things on one guy – this is a team effort! And the team couldn’t hit for their life today.
The Yankees had bases loaded with none out in the 7th, and FAILED to score a run. Talk about frustrating…
In the 8th, Mark Teixeira provided a spark of hope with his big fly off Daniel Bard, which made the score 2-1.
Jonathan Papelbon, who is #1 on my “If I could kick someone in the balls list,” came in for the 4 out save today. I figured, “Hey! This is good. The more opportunities the Yanks have against Papelbon, the better. He sucks.”
So in the 9th, Curtis Granderson leads off with a strikeout. Very productive…Then Jeter walks, and I begin to get a little excited. I wanted to see some pie today…but from there, it went downhill.
Nick Swisher struckout for the 2nd out, and then Tex….he put up such a tough at bat…but of course, it ended in a K. I somewhat expected this, but still – when I saw it happen, I exploded.
A little background info on what was going on in my living room during the 9th: My dog was eating his dinner in the living room and he tends to make a mess; dropping kibble from his flews, spewing water when he shakes and his drool goes flying, typical dog stuff. So we put a towel under his bowl so the customary mess would be easier to clean up. He was eating “Turducken,” which sounds gross, but actually smells quite tasty. My mother was also in the room, and I told her to get out because I thought she was a jinx (she listened). My older brother was watching the game with me.
Words cannot describe my hatred for you…
Okay, back to the game: the microsecond after Tex struckout, I lost it. I just went berserk. The throwing of my shoes at the TV is normal for me, and of course I did that. But that didn’t make me feel better: that intense hatred of losing, and that hatred for Papelbon, lingered on. In anger mode, I scanned the room for something else to violently thrust at the screen. Then I saw it: the towel. My dog finished eating, leaving a trail of Turducken embedded into the towel.
Papelbon was going his little fist pump, when SPLAT!
The Turducken-covered towel hit him square in the face, thanks to my powerful throw, and I screamed:
“HAVE SOME F****N’ TURDUCKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Then, still enraged, I jumped off the couch, picked up the towel, and began whipping Papelbon’s stupid face through the TV.
For some reason, my brother found this funny. And he told me to write this here for the world to see. Why? Well, now that the game has been over for a little while, and my anger is slowly subsiding, I guess it is kind of funny. Kind of. He sure thought so. He’s still laughing at it.
So the Yankees lost the finale 2-1, and I clearly was not thrilled. Any time the Yankees can ruin Papelbon’s day, I’m happy. But that didn’t happen today. I really wanted to win this series, but you can’t win ‘em all.
I’ll have to get over it. These random bursts of animosity really are not healthy.
Although they are kind of funny.
1st Of Many Walkoffs for Yanks
Don’t you hate it when you are so tired and you know it’s late, but you don’t go to bed and then by the time you DO go to bed, you aren’t tired anymore? I usually hate this. But last night, I didn’t mind it one bit. I laid there for awhile, knowing I should get a good night’s sleep because it was only Monday (well, almost Tuesday at this point), but it was the peaceful kind of not sleeping. And eventually, I drifted asleep with comforting images of my Yankees. Yes, my Yankees…they played an amazingly dramatic game Monday night - I game I don’t think I will forget.
Pitching Analysis: Joe Girardi did what I thought he would do, although it didn’t please me. He skipped over my Javier in favor of the Phenom Phil Hughes to start the series opener. But to everyone’s surprise, Hughes struggled mightily. Hughes let a large lead slip away, on the strength of homers by Ortiz and Martinez. Phil only pitched 5 innings, and allowed 5 runs on 6 hits, turning the once easy-night for the Yanks into an outright nail-biter.
Hughes…I can’t believe YOU made me nervous…
The bullpen sent me onto the brink of insanity. Boone Logan surrendered a solo home run to V-Mart. But he wasn’t the scary one. Chan Ho Park, fresh off the DL, couldn’t keep it in the park. Deja vu. He allowed Pukilis to hit a monster 2-run home run, which turned the tides into the Red Sox favor, because they finally had the lead. It was detrimental to my confidence, and, I thought, to the Yankees’ confidence as well.
Damaso Marte flirted with disaster when he put 2 men on base in the 8th inning. With 2 out, Girardi made a bold move: he brought in Javier Vazquez. This was it – it was Javier’s first time relieving for the Yankees since the ’04 Damon grand slam tragedy. It was Javier’s time to redeem himself and give the Yankees a chance to win. And he did. And they did. Javier stuckout the always-dangerous Youkilis, ending the Red Sox rally.
Good job, Javy ♥
Offensive Analysis: The Yankees got out of the gates quickly and scored a boatload of runs early. In the 1st, Jeter and Gardner singled, Teixeira walked, A-Rod hit a 2-run single, Cano hit an RBI single, Cervelli got an RBI double, and Thames got a sac fly. Add that all up, and by the end of the 1st, the Yankees smashed Dice-K around well enough for a 5-0 lead. In the 2nd, Tex added another run with an RBI double. That made it 6-1.
The Red Sox inched closer, and the Yankee bats died a bit. Marcus Thames added to the now-slim lead with an RBI double in the 5th, making it 7-5 Yankees. But after this, the Yankees failed to score again. Well, until later…..
After Park blew the lead, the momentum shifted in favor of the Red Sox. But after Javier struckout Youk, the momentum was back in favor of the Yankees. And just in time – it was the bottom of the 9th. Crunch time. Comeback time for the Drama Club. But they would have to do it off Jonathan Papelbon. They’ve already embarrassed him once this season – but Granderson was not around to hit another homer off him. It was up to heart of the Yankee order.
Brett Gardner led off the bottom of the 9th with a double. The Yankees needed 2 runs to tie, 3 to win. Mark Teixeira hit a deep fly ball to right-center, but it was caught for an out. I thought it was gone and jumped up. But it wasn’t. I thought the ball wasn’t carrying anymore. Thank God I was wrong.
Alex Rodriguez, the Drama King of the Drama Club, stepped up to the plate with hopes of keeping the rally going. I begged to the TV, “Ohhh….Come on A-Rod…Please, please do something baby…”
Papelbon threw the pitch, and A-Rod connected. I was ready to jump up, but I stopped myself – not wanting to jinx it like I did with Teixeira’s. Was I seeing things? I gasped, “Oh!.” It was really going. Going, going….GONE! A-Rod did it again! His 2-run, storybook home run tied up the game at 9, and sent the stadium and my living room into an unbridled frenzy of cheers. My Grandma and I high-fived. Our boys were alive. But they were more than that – they were revived, ready for a comeback. I knew then that the pie was going to happen that inning.
Haha…what NOW Papelbon???
After Cano hit a ball well for an out, my darling baby Francisco Cervelli came up to bat. Sensing his excitement, I too was excited. I thought he would get the pie. Papelbon decided to throw a hissy fit. He decided to ruin my fantasies, and send me back into a painful reality.
The pitch was too fast and too inside, I knew that right away. Francisco tried to get out of the way, but he couldn’t. All I saw was that it was up and in – I didn’t know where it got him. I was immediately thinking of his poor little head, although I knew it didn’t get him there. As it turned out, it his Cervelli in his sexy tricep, and he was mad. And I was mad. Rightfully so. I screamed when he was hit, and my little brother came out from his bedroom only to say, “Hey! I’m trying to sleep here…no more screaming!!!”
No one does that to MY baby on purpose….
Marcus Thames then came up, and I was still annoyed that Cervelli wouldn’t be the hero. But before I even had the chance to pout, or think anything, Papelbon threw the pitch. I knew Thames’s claim to fame was that he could crush a fastball. He was sitting dead-red. Indeed it was a fastball. Indeed, Thames crushed it. This was a no-doubter. Marcus Thames hit a beastly walkoff, 2-run home run off the most arrogant obnoxious excuse for a pitcher in baseball. He touched the plate, threw his helmet, and the celebration began. Ignoring my brother’s request for silence, I screamed. We won! How could I not?
Yankee teammates get ready to mob Marcus.
Everyone knew what was to come next: In Marcus’s on-field interview, all hears were on Marcus, but all eyes were scrambling around, looking for the Pie Man. Slowly, stealthily, A.J. Burnett emerged from the dugout, and squished that pie into Thames’s smiling face. Direct hit. The crowd went wild.
That’s a hot look for him
And so concluded my wonderful Monday evening. Yankees win it 11-9. The heroes for this Yankees Classic-worthy victory are Javier Vazquez, for proving he can do it and for shifting the momentum, A-Rod, for his game-tying big fly, and Marcus Thames, for winning it in walkoff fashion. Walkoff….the Yankees have a knack for getting into the knack of walkoffs. Once they get a pie, they want more and more.
If you start them up, believe me – they’ll NEVER stop…
Yanks Win Series In “Grand” Fashion
Last night’s Yankee game was AWESOME! It had everything a Yankees/Red Sox game should have: a little good pitching, a little clutch hitting, and a LOT of drama. The Yankees won again, and believe it or not, actually won the first series against Boston this year! And at Fenway? Who would have thought…My boys can do the impossible The Yankees won last night 3-1, and it was surely an exciting game.
Pitching Analysis: Andy Pettitte, who really had no Spring Training at all, started for the Yankees last night. But the fact that he didn’t get much practice didn’t bother me. I knew Andy would be fine. He always finds a way to pitch well, even if he doesn’t have his best stuff. But last night, at least from what I could tell, Andy was on. He went 6 innings, allowing just 1 run. That 1 run was an RBI single by Big Poopi in the 3rd inning. What a dandy from my Andy. ♥
Don’t take this the wrong way, but one of the highlights of my night took place in the 5th inning. Andy Pettitte clonked Kevin Youkilis in the head! I laughed…I know some of you may think that’s rotten, but I did. I just hate Pukilis so much. No one likes him. I mean what’s to like? And it’s not like Andy meant to hurt him. Youkilis was fine, he wasn’t hurt. So I don’t really feel bad about laughing and saying “Yeah! Go Andy!”
When Joe Girardi put in Chan Ho Park in the 7th inning, I almost fell off my chair. But when he trotted out there for a second inning of relief, I was in even more disbelief. Girardi didn’t stop there…he didn’t stop torturing me. Yes, Park came out for a THIRD INNING OF WORK. I let my mind convince me otherwise at the time, but after the game I realized the truth: Chan Ho Park did a helluva great job. 3 innings of 1-hit, 0-run relief against the smelly sox who cheat at Fenway? (The insults are on now…I didn’t like the way they played last night.) I am proud of Chan Ho. I didn’t know he was suffering from the flu! Maybe that’s why he stank the other night. Now I feel bad about giving him a hard time..aw….Chan Ho I’m sorry! I’m just an inconsiderate little brat. Don’t feel bad. I do love you now…I’m so sorry it took this long.
After Park’s brilliant outing, the Sandman took over. The Yanks had a lead by this time, so the 10th inning was an easy one for Mo, who nailed down his 2nd save of the year!!! Overall, it was a spectacular night on the mound for all my Yankee hurlers.
Defensive Analysis: Not much went on defensively last night. The Yankees didn’t make any errors and were solid overall. In the first inning, Ellsburry pummeled poor Andy as he ran to first. Andy fell on the cold, hard ground, and Jacoby was safe. The Yankees had to defend their bodies later on. After Youkilis was hit in the 5th, Lackey hit Jeet in the elbow, then the ump called a warning, and the drama stopped there. I was hoping maybe when Andy was ready to come out of the game, he could just hit a Red Sock and get thrown out, since he would have been ready to exit anyway. But that didn’t happen…Andy is just too sweet of a guy.
Offensive Analysis: It took the Yankees a long time to get on the board, and as each inning passed without a Yankee crossing the plate, I grew more and more tense. I was like, “Are they seriously going to lose 1-0?”
But then I remembered: These are the Yankees, they don’t lose like that. They never stop fighting. I knew that eventually, they would figure it out, and score.
They figured it out in the 7th inning, when Lackey was out of the game. Off of Daniel Bard, the young guy who thinks he is all-that because he can throw 99 mph, Jorge Posada doubled. Due up next was Nick Swisher, who just keeps on getting sexier everyday. He looks even hotter when he hits well. Last night, he had me drooling. He came through inthe clutch! Nick hit a single into right field that scored Jorge, and tied the game at 1. I was relieved that they finally scored!
The Yankee bats were held quiet until the game went into extra innings. In the 10th, the Red Sox went with Jonathan Papelbon. I hate that man with a passion. He thinks he’s so intimidating on the mound, when really he’s not. That stare he does? I mean, if I was at the plate and I saw him do that, I would strikeout because I’d be on the floor laughing so hard because he looked so stupid, and I wouldn’t be able to focus. Maybe that’s why he does it. No…he really does think he looks scary. I don’t know what the Yankees think, but in my opinion, Papelbon looks like he wants to masturbate when he does that face.
Okay sorry. That’s enough ranting about Papelbon for one day. Anyway, Curtis Granderson came up, and he looked ready to make an impact. He impacted the ball, that’s for sure. Yesm Curtis Granderson hit a HOME RUN OFF PAPELBON!!! And gave Yankees had a 2-1 lead! I was beyond proud of the little cutie. The Yanks tacked on another one for insurance when Mark Teixeira drove in a run with an RBI groundout to make it 3-1.
Ooooh Curtis……♥♥♥ my love for you has started to flourish….
So there you have it! The first series of the year is over, and my Yankees came out on top. The heroes for this delightful victory are Andy Pettitte, for his dandiness, Chan Ho Park!, for his surprising dominance, and CUTIE Curtis Granderson ♥, for his clutchness. Seriously, no joke, I am now madly in love with that guy. I mean when the Yankees got him, I thought he was cute and all…but now, now I am infatuated with the man….mmm. It happened so suddenly….after last night, he looks even more adorable than he already was! And he’s so articulate…what a package: he’s got the looks, the smarts, AND the skillz! And he’s going to be on the team for a nice, long time. Yay….♥
I better stop gushing…this could start to get a little out of hand if I let it go on hehehee
GREAT job Yankees, you all make me proud. Especially you Curtis You made last night a Grand finale for the team, and Grand-opened my heart.